Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
