he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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