Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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