what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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