i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize