I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
