Christians are straight up FREAKS
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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