My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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