dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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