just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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