I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle