were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
