Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize