a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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