no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
