btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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