Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
