Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize