just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
