He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
