Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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