I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
