Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
