a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
soo... how was my night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
