Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
