now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
