im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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