You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
