how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
