How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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