Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
