T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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