Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
