my mouth tastes like poor choices
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
