She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
