glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
