worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.