Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch