Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1377) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...

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  (610): I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand... http://tfl.nu/us7j
  Replies (36) Good night (471) Bad night (2278) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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  (978): My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober. http://tfl.nu/yr07
  Replies (13) Good night (4475) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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  (814): so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar? http://tfl.nu/t8an
  Replies (16) Good night (1361) Bad night (5157) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl

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  (573): the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl http://tfl.nu/glhm
  Replies (8) Good night (1328) Bad night (2404) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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  (530): When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party. http://tfl.nu/3bf6
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (1501) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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  (509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys
  Replies (6) Good night (2135) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.

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  (501): There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at. http://tfl.nu/jo9n
  Replies (5) Good night (2012) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (3694) Bad night (1690)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school

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  (912): It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school http://tfl.nu/xr6r
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine

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  (763): Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine http://tfl.nu/hxv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1229) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave

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  (310): If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave http://tfl.nu/1hv2
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (891) Bad night (212)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest

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  (662): The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance (1-662): Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest http://tfl.nu/10xm
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (132)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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  (401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu
  Replies (0) Good night (692) Bad night (117)

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