Texts From Last Night

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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"

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  (780): she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!" http://tfl.nu/mre5
  Replies (13) Good night (4511) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1131) Bad night (4142) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures

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  (216): normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures http://tfl.nu/psn6
  Replies (24) Good night (8063) Bad night (693)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...

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  (248): i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times... http://tfl.nu/ibyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5464) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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  (413): YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/cdfm
  Replies (11) Good night (1045) Bad night (4376) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school

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  (425): couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school http://tfl.nu/94oh
  Replies (36) Good night (6488) Bad night (1400) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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  (352): we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark. http://tfl.nu/009s
  Replies (44) Good night (7437) Bad night (1935) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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  (269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3
  Replies (6) Good night (1190) Bad night (2348) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (21) Good night (3490) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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  (205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (411)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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  (512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

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  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My work here is done

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  (520): I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs (602): My work here is done http://tfl.nu/ashb
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (126)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong

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  (713): I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong http://tfl.nu/72i1
  Replies (1) Good night (225) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?

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  (203): Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013? http://tfl.nu/6zdp
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt

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