last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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