did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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