I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
