It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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