Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
