the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
