It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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