the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
