I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's shark week go big or go home
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
