She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
