Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
