So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found puke in my bra..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
