I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if only i could text you this smell
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We got so high we made milksteak
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
