Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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