Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize