angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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