apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
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i've created a new STD.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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