I hate all girls vehemently.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
