I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
