It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize