last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
