im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
