Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
