SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Four minutes until I can fart!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
