Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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