It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
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Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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