i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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