Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
